writing2exist (writing2exist) wrote in glbt_muslim,

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New Member Post

AsSalaam Alaikum,

I am extremely excited that this community exists. In exploring the community I discovered that sadly it has been a while since anyone posted here. InShaAllah, this community will be revived soon.

I have known I'm a lesbian since I was 12 years old. I was raised in an extremely conservative Southern Baptist Christian environment. Growing up I always struggled with my faith. I struggled to reconcile my sexuality with the negativity associated with it in the Bible. I struggled with the aspects of my religion that didn't make sense to me. I walked away from religion for a number of years. I focused on the spiritual aspect of faith, and I focused on keeping God in my life without the rules of religion. In late 2010 and most of 2011 I began to feel the pull to align myself with religion again. During this time I researched all religions and studied everything I could. After intense study I finally decided that Islam was my home. By the grace of Allah, I took my Shahada in July 2011.

Since then I have gained an appreciation for the amazing community that exists within the Islamic faith. I have been fortunate enough to meet some of the most wonderful people. I have encountered many people who have strengthened my iman. Yet I have also encountered people within our deen who have told me that being a lesbian is zina, and Allah will surely send me to Hell Fire if I don't walk away from it.

I believe the Qur'an when it tells us that Allah is the Lord of the worlds. I believe that Allah has a magnificent imagination that is evident in every aspect of our lives. I believe that His imagination brought us the world of Earth as much as it brought us the worlds of Jupiter, Neptune etc. I believe too that within our own Earthly world that there exists heterosexuality and homosexuality; and both were created by His grand design. I honestly don't believe that homosexuality is a sin.

I honestly don't know any other LGBT Muslims. The Imam at my local mosque encouraged me not to tell any of the sisters within our masjid that I'm a lesbian. He felt that they wouldn't take it well. So immediately my mosque became a place where I couldn't be myself. When I'm there I will always have to hide a part of who I am. I think that's sad.

My main hope at this point in my religious walk is to find other LGBT Muslims. I want to connect with people I can truly relate to. I am single right now, but I hope that soon I will find a relationship with another lesbian Muslim. I don't expect this community to help me find a date, although I would be grateful if a real life relationship did develop. I really want to connect with other people and not feel like such an outsider within my own religion.

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